Like Ishmael
I sought the sea

The wildness called out to me
I wished to set sail and never return

There was nothing left
For it had all burned

I was lost at sea
Through endless darkness

Just me
Alone I live and alone I breathe

The ship went down
But it did not take me

I was drowning, drowning,
But I could see

The light that shone
Above, above

Heavenly sky the sun’s bright light
Rather than eternal black

A water grave for souls turned back
But not me
Not me

Ishmael did wander
And called to me

Set sail on the open seas
Floating on an ocean breeze

A tale I will have to tell
When I find heaven
Instead of hell


Fill my lungs
like the breath you catch
when you gasp for air

Caress my eyes
like when I close them, exhausted,
and fall asleep

Kiss my mouth
like a mouthful of sugar
after a taste of bitter tears

Touch my soul
like soft balm on burnt fingers

Forgive my sins
like rain washing dirt
off our backdoor window

Heal my pain
like prayers do to a broken heart

Bless me, again
like the flowers in my hair
when I was a pure being, still

Take me, make me yours
let me live that dream again

Thinned Blood

The alcohol opens old wounds that my thinned blood cannot heal.
Bad memories pour from my mind like a heavy nosebleed that my thinned blood cannot heal.
I keep drinking.

I drink and drink in hopes that the flow of memories will stop, like the coagulation of blood.
But the memories keep coming, getting darker and darker.
I keep drinking.

I need to drown out the memories, before I am emptied of blood.
I drink. I drink. I drink.
Until the memories are swallowed into darkness.

Embers of Our Love

The embers of our love,
Aren’t enough to hold a flame,
But neither of us,
See that as shame.

We desperately gather,
Fuel to feed the fire,
Holding onto the sticks,
We pray will keep us warm.

Love is our only warmth,
As we cling to one another,
Scared of the wind,
That knocks at our door.

Our house is ruined,
Falling apart as we sleep,
Our search for firewood,
Has left it’s timbers weak.

It’ll kill us both,
And I’d have it that way,
If it meant I could love you,
For just one more day.

2014 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 13,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.


He’s incapable of letting me know.
And that upsets me.
I’m incapable of letting go.
And that upsets me.

I bounce around with the wind.
And that upsets him.
He has problems unable to mend.
And that upsets him.

I can’t just leave him to drown.
And that upsets me.
But he can’t always have me around.
And that upsets me.

He’s mentally unable to be there.
And that upsets him.
Yet he always wants to show his care.
And that upsets him.

I’m not sure if we’ll be alright.
And that upsets us.
But I’m not losing this without a fight.